Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu - Episode 1

Awr, man… I was determined not to like this!

Calling a spade a spade (because, y’know, it is), Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu is grade-A manufactured rubbish. Ever since reading about the show’s original premise, it was painfully obvious that this anime would be constructed meticulously from well-known tried-and-tested components with the aim of checking every tick box on the anime fan’s wish list. Clumsy, moé, sweet, gentle, good-at-everything, admired-by-all female lead who loves Akiba’s produce as much as we do? Check. Dweebish, uninterested, dorky-yet-assertive male protagonist? Check. Every frame’s a fanservice frame!? Check. Reason for aforementioned cute female lead to rely upon aforementioned boring guy? Check. It’s all there, laid out like a delicious smorgasbord of 2D niches ready to be devoured by a pack of salivating otaku with thick-rimmed glasses and pockets stuffed full of Suzumiya Haruhi bunny-girl figurines. Yeah, really.

And maybe that’s why I feel so unclean for having enjoyed this first episode of Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu. If I were scoring it up seriously, both character and story development would receive a great big nil. Animation quality? Meh - nothing to comment on. Background music? I didn’t even notice any. Even for a show of this genre (What - school life? I don’t know.) things seemed to move real, real quick. I mean, isn’t the haunted school at night episode usually reserved for about midway through a series; about the time when the animators are running out of ideas? And I’m sure that the boy-meets-girl, girl-hates-boy, girl-likes-boy sequence usually takes at least a couple of episodes to pan out. I guess, covering the same ground in around twenty minutes has got to be rather impressive. Right?

Wrong. But I’m sure that doesn’t matter, since it’s very clear that Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu is not a show to be scrutinised nor analysed. There’s no substance to pick apart, no deeper meaning to find. Instead, you’re asked politely to switch off your brain and feast your eyes upon the pretty school girls. So perhaps that’s why I enjoyed this episode. Watching anime at one ‘o’ clock in the morning is a sure-fire way to deaden your mind, let me tell you!